


Shatter me

by luminouskumiho (orphan_account)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 05:50:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/luminouskumiho
Summary: With shaking fingers I decided to open the damn envelope, looking at the thin piece of paper that was about to destroy me once again, because it was coming from you and if it was coming from you it was something toxic and destructive for me.





	Shatter me

Sitting down on the same old couch we shared so good and bad memories I looked at the white envelope between my fingers, biting and chewing on my lower lip as I had no idea if I should have open it or just burn it, let it go once and forever with all the memories. 

A part of my brain knew that it wasn't exactly a decision as I had no control over myself since I met you. You were the one deciding everything and you didn’t even needed to be there, you entirely had control over my body, mind, actions. 

With shaking fingers I decided to open the damn envelope, looking at the thin piece of paper that was about to destroy me once again, because it was coming from you and if it was coming from you it was something toxic and destructive for me. 

"Xing, my beautiful, 

How cruel of you to leave me behind in a crowded city with an empty heart. Did I ever did you wrong for you to do this to me? What am I to you, angel? I believed your heart was more loyal, I believed it was mine but I guess I was wrong, I guess what I do is never enough for you. Am I that useless, Xing? That useless that I can't even keep you from leaving my side?

If you don't decide to return then I hope you find someone who would be better for you than I was. But if you decide to return, my heart is full of forgiveness for you. I'll forgive. But I won't forget. 

People told me before that I can find someone better, someone who would be more fit for my needs but i was stubborn, stubborn and stupid as i always said i only want you. What do you want? What do you need? Is my love and dedication not enough for you?

Remember the nights. The days. The nice moments. Even the bad ones, like this one when you decide to leave my side and i have to struggle for you.

Did I ever do anything wrong to you?

Waiting for your returning, your loyal and loving boyfriend, ZiTao."

Throwing the damned thing on the floor I tried taking a deep breath, tried to calm my heart, tried to keep my feet from moving towards the door, from taking my still packed bag and call for a cab.

I couldn't do this anymore. 

As my forehead lays on the cab's cold window I keep my tears inside my chest, looking at the familiar city as I was heading to the airport.

The nights when I was nothing more but a toy for you to please yourself. 

The days when I was just a beautiful face standing by you while you flirted with others.

The good moments when I faked a smile and I pretended I’m not hurt. 

The bad moments when I finally got away and you sweet talked me into returning to hell.

To screaming, to crying, to shaking in fear, to aching, to you being rough and me being a puppet. 

And yet, I would always return to you and I can’t explain myself why. 

I love you.

You use me.

I let you to.


End file.
